Tales from a Cafe

So I've gotten off my couch, and ventured out into the world. To the cafe across the street. (Do my adventurous impulses threaten you, Claire and Lara?)

I like going to the cafe because 1) they make a mean Thai Iced Tea and 2) it feels more professional to sit amongst other people typing. I'm trying to create a pseudo-work environment, because my only daily companionship at this point is the sound of our 85-year old landlord shuffling around in her apartment unit above me (though the woman can move).

Of course, it's hard to measure what this new worldly life will mean for my blog. But here's the first, incredibly interesting story from my time across the street:

I was at "Cup a' Joe" yesterday, and overheard the man next to me distributing professional advice. He was probably 30, and I'd say his "mentee," a woman, was around the same age. Unfortunately for her, I've never heard such inane, empty counsel. He insisted on murdering metaphors, drawing out their bloody deaths over hours and hours of aimless "wisdom." It was so exagerated, I finally began transcribing it all. Here are my notes:

"You have to know when to get back on the horse, and you have to understand where the horse is trying to get next. So many people are too scared to ride "horses," and there's a difference between bravery and courage. Riding a wild horse is about as dangerous as driving a broken car, but if you're brave then you'll suceed. It's a gamble. There could be an earthquake today, but are you going to live in fear? People are afraid of making investments and taking risks, because they know the horse might throw them. When someone has courage, it's not that they're not afraid - it's just that you're not afraid to act. I'm not afraid. So I will get on the horse without a rein..."

And so on, and so on, and so on. There was a 10-minute stretch also devoted to dolphins - didn't understand that at all - as well as a conclusion that touched upon David and Goliath. And not once did I hear mention of the specific industry this woman was interested in. And I was listening the ENTIRE time.

I really wish people wouldn't be so absurd, 'cause I'd get a lot more work done...